I wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our

cellphone?

What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?

What if we flipped through it several time a day?

What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?

What if we used it to receive messages from the text?

What if we treated it like we couldn’t live without it?

What if we gave it to Kids as gifts?

What if we used it when we traveled?

What if we used it in case of emergency?

This is something to make you go….hmm…where is my Bible?

Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phone, we don’t have to worry

about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the

bill.

Makes you stop and think “where are my priorities?”

And no dropped calls!

· When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.· Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.· There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.· Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.· Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.· Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.· Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.· Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.· There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.· When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.· Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.· Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.· Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.· Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.· Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.· Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.· Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost· Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

· Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

So watch out for this guy people!!

  
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?